Living Without Complaining

Two weeks ago, the following challenge was given:

Beginning today and each day until Thanksgiving, write down five blessings you enjoy in your life and give thanks for these in your prayers. Secondly, commit yourself to make no complaint or grumbling at least until Thanksgiving dinner. This means no grumbling about traffic, bills, government actions, or the like. It won’t be easy; are you up to it?

Did you take the challenge? If so, how did you do? The first part was likely easy; we are a people rich with blessings from God both spiritually and physically. However, the second may have proved more difficult; many things occur throughout each day that can elicit complaints with little forethought. If a few days of complaint free living proves difficult, is it possible to develop a lifestyle that remains free of it? The answer to this question is yes; although, a great deal of self-control is essential.

The first biblical appearance of the word complain in our English translations is found in Exodus 15:24: “And the people grumbled [“murmured,” “complained”] against Moses, saying, “What shall we drink?” Perhaps somewhat self-righteously, Christians often lambaste the Israelites for their complaints. After all, had they not just witnessed the decimation of Egypt, passed through the midst of the Red Sea while the Egyptian Army drowned, and sang a hymn of praise to God? It is often forgotten that their surroundings were now a desolate and barren wilderness, with little sign of food or water. Before we cast a stone at the Israelites, we might recall the last time we missed a meal or two and the impact it had on our attitude. Still, their murmurings were chronic. A quick scan of their journey through the wilderness and a read of Moses’ final remarks about their history will resound with the word grumble. They allowed their cravings for normalcy to trump their trust in a God who provides.

It should come as no surprise that the apostle Paul uses the distinctly Old Testament word murmur to make a point to those saved by the blood of Jesus. Paul warned the Corinthians by stating, “Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the destroyer” (I Corinthians 10:10 KJV). He follows by noting that these things happened to them as an example and were written for our instruction (vs. 11). Simply put, God teaches that He will not tolerate a chronic complainer; what destroyed in ancient times will still destroy today.

Chronic complaining is a destructive behavior in human relationships. No doubt, many marriages have been torn apart because of such an attitude. There is also the danger that the spiritual family can suffer harm, and for this reason the writer James stated, “Do not grumble against one another, brothers, so that you may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing at the door” (5:9). In talking about fellow-Christians, complaints such as “they never check on me,” “they never visit me,” “they never tell me I’m doing a good job” can become chronic. If given enough latitude, these complaints will harden attitudes toward other Christians to the point that relationships are broken. Complaining about our collective worship will also have the same impact: “They never sing the old (or new) songs I like,” “he preaches too long,” “the Bible class teacher is boring.” Such an attitude will lead one to believe that worship is about“what I get out of it” rather than seeking to join others in giving glory to God. While there is always room for constructive criticism, bitter grumbling should be left behind.

Ultimately, chronic complaining bespeaks an attitude about God. As Jude described the attitude of false teachers, he noted the following: “These are grumblers, malcontents, following their own sinful desires; they are loud-mouthed boasters, showing favoritism to gain advantage” (1:16). It is interesting that grumbling is followed by being malcontent; literally, “a complaint over the allotted portion” (HELPS Word Studies). Chronic complaining leads us to believe that God has withheld what we need or deserve. Ironically, this was the very attitude that led to the first sin being introduced into the world. Since that day in the Garden, Satan has used this technique to lead many away from God. To convince one that God is unfair always leads to a spirit of complaining and always leads away from Him.

Now for the hard part: How do I keep myself from complaining? As Paul provided a list of characteristics collectively called the Fruit of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23), he ended with one that seems out of place: “self-control.” However, when it is understood that self-control means that “self” is not allowed to interfere with the ways of God, it makes much more sense. In other words, if I can get my “self” out of the way, I will not question that God has my best interest in mind regardless of what I am facing. As well, ridding my life of unnecessary stresses will also alleviate the habit of complaining. If my football team upsets me every Saturday it may be time to stop watching. If government actions give me heartache, it may be time to stop reading the news. While we cannot block all stressful events in our lives, we can rid ourselves of those that have little purpose or point. Ultimately, to prevent chronic complaining we throw ourselves on the mercy of God. To realize what He has already done for us should absolutely convince that He has our best interest in mind. To pray daily for the spirit of contentment that prevents complaining will result in His help and protection.

Now for the ultimate challenge: From this point forward, commit to ridding your life of complaining, grumbling, and murmuring. Will it be easy? No. However, the eternal reward will be worth all the effort.