Dan Chaney
09/24/08
"Power" and "authority" are not difficult words to define. Even the word "submit," meaning to yield to the control of another, is not difficult to understand. Though it’s easy to define these words, it seems that applying them to our roles is much harder. Today’s society seems to be absolutely baffled when it comes to assessing duties and responsibilities. There is nowhere that the application of these words is more misunderstood than in family relationships.
Can I suggest to you that God has provided guidance on how both the man and the woman are to function in the marriage relationship? God intended man to be head of the woman (I Corinthians 11:3), and he was given the role of headship (I Timothy 2:11-15). Ultimately, the man is responsible for the family’s well-being. He is to make sure his family is provided for and he does so by the "sweat of his face" (Genesis 3:17-19).
The woman is to be subject to her husband (Ephesians 5:22). A woman’s submission does not suggest that she is a slave or useless. She assumes the role of the weaker vessel in marriage. This does not mean that she is weak-minded or helpless. In fact, to submit takes a great deal of strength and trust. However, the woman must make the decision to do so for the marriage to work.
The husband is to love his wife as he would himself (Ephesians 5:28). Men tend to take pride in their physical condition. Men are to love their wives as they would their own bodies. Men are not always good at showing love, but they are commanded to do so (Ephesians 5:25).
As head of the house, men are the decision-makers and leaders of the family. Although the man makes the final decision, he must choose that which would be in the best interest of his family. He casts the final vote, not to fulfill his own desires, but to provide for the needs of his family. There are severe consequences for the man who fails to provide for his household (I Timothy 5:8).
A man cannot provide unless he knows what is needed. A wise man said, "Two heads are better than one." I affirm that the man who does not include his wife in the decision-making process is more likely to wrongly assess what his family’s needs are. It’s tough to make wise decisions when uninformed of all the details. Asking for your wife’s input will inform you of her needs. The more you know about her needs, the better you’ll be able to provided for her.
Husbands, honor your wife as she deserves to be (I Peter 3:7). Care for her to the best of your ability. It is easy for a woman to submit to a man that she knows genuinely cares for her and can provide for her. Wives, submit to your husbands and be supportive. Making and maintaining a family is a joint effort. Follow God’s provided pattern; it works.