Teaching Children To Obey
“Don’t touch that!” “Stop doing that!” “I told you not to walk over there!” Parents sometimes feel their entire lives consist of trying to get their children to “stop it.” From the time they can crawl, small children are determinedly exploring their environment, curious about everything and completely unaware of the many dangers that exist for them. Why shouldn’t one stick things into the electrical outlet? It is made, after all, for the insertion of things! Despite the fatiguing nature of such constant supervision and care, we watch over our children with diligence to protect them from harm.
Unfortunately, children often do not cooperate with parents in this regard. The battle seems to be inevitable. I speak of the conflict between parent and child regarding who will determine the child’s conduct in many situations and even who will run the family! It begins with the infant child testing his parent’s authority by reaching for the forbidden fruit. “No!” the parent warns. It is simply amazing how quickly children learn the meaning of “no.” Their understanding, however, doesn’t stop them from testing their parents to see if Mom and Dad are really serious about that “no-touch” thing. As parents of little children, Debbie and I were extremely serious about the “no touching electrical outlets” rule because we understood completely the potential physical harm that disobedience could cause.
A child’s reaction to the authority of his parents involves much more than simply the question of whether he will survive childhood with a minimum number of scars. God placed parents in a position of authority over their children (Ephesians 6:1; note that this passage is directed to children!). Infants are born with no concept of authority nor the proper response to authority. Their first interaction with authority figures involves their parents. In fact, children learn to respond to authority by means of their relationship with their parents. The implication of this fact is tremendous. Their perception of parental authority and its expression will influence to some extent other relationships in which they must respond to expressed authority. Such relationships include those of teacher-student in school, government-citizen at a variety of levels, elder-member in the local church and, ultimately, their relationship with their heavenly Father.
When a toddler hears the word “no” from a parent and turns to see if the parent really means it, it is absolutely crucial that we really mean it…and show that we mean it! The issue is not ultimately electrical shock or broken knick-knacks. God has given parents the awesome responsibility of educating children about the proper response to authority. Paul wrote, “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Wise parents emphasize to their children (when they are old enough to understand it) that obedience to parents is necessary because God placed parents in a position of authority. Obedience to parents is thus really obedience to God.
It is easy to become tired of the constant work of supervising and educating children. The tendency of weary parents is to let their children do as they please in many areas, in defiance of parental direction. It is easier to give in to the relentless pressure exerted by the child determined to win than to persistently insist the child yield to parental authority. Parents must realize the fundamental nature of what they are teaching their children about authority; the lessons learned, proper or improper, often greatly influence the success of these children in this life, not to mention their eternal destiny.
When God says “no,” He really means it. I learned that first from my parents.