Quittin’ The Lord
I’m not quitting the Lord, but I am definitely not going back to that church. I can’t believe that the preacher said what he did. He made me so mad! I know that what he preached is in the Bible, but he hurt my feelings so I’m just not going back. Besides, I can turn on my television on Sunday and get all the preaching I want and, at least with the television, I have a volume control!
It wasn’t just the preacher. The song leader sometimes leads too many songs. Occasionally he also leads songs that I don’t really like. It’s not that I’m quitting the Lord, but I am tired of some members dragging the singing; it sounds like a funeral march! In addition, some of the members are constantly off-key. I don’t think that I will go back to that church anymore; I’ll just stay home and listen to some religious music tapes that I have.
You know, I’ve been a member of that church for a long time and yet brother GreetEmAll didn’t speak to me last Sunday. I am just sure that he saw me, but did he speak to me or shake my hand? I’m not quitting the Lord, but if that is the way that I am going to be treated at that church, I might just as well stay home. And then there’s sister NotAware; she said something several years ago that I’m sure was intended to make fun of me and now I can hardly stand to sit near her in worship anymore. They’ll probably not even miss me if I stay home this Sunday – serves them right.
Now that I think about it, all I seem to hear about when I go to services is give, give, give. You would think that I am made of money the way that the brethren are always talking about supporting the work of the church with my “prosperity.” Don’t they know that after I make my payments on my house, cars, boat, wide-screen television, hunting lease, motorcycle, vacation time-share and retirement fund, there is barely enough money left to contribute to my vacation budget and pay my weekly green fees? I’m not quitting the Lord, but maybe this Sunday I’ll just stay home and avoid the greediness of that church. Religion is not about money, you know.
I’m not feeling all that well anyway. That reminds me. The last time I was sick, no one even called to see how I was doing. Of course, I don’t normally come on Sunday night or Wednesday anyway, but that’s no excuse for them not knowing that I was sick. I wouldn’t exactly say that I am quitting the Lord, but I don’t think that I will worship with the church this Sunday either.
Sound familiar? I have heard every one of these excuses for why some member has stopped worshiping with the church. What a relief to know that he hasn’t “quit the Lord”!